JC

JC. passed.

wonderful talk with someone I have misunderstood so much. I regret my ignorance, meanness, dismissal of this person. Gossip can warp perceptions.. I should have known better.

I felt vindicated as well.

And there will be still a group of us in class. We'll be good friends. Better than ever.

Frankly, I thought I would be filled with regrets at the missed opportunities. In retrospect, I'm not. Where I have failed, I learnt. Where I have achieved, I reflected. All the time, my faith strengthens, and I finally realised that nothing matters but God.

It's a new birth.

the now.

let he be ok.

there's nothing that can be done but wait and see.

this year's special, i know it

the riot of colours, splashed

across pen and sword

the balance

will come.

and unprecedented understanding and peace

to friends

to family

to the world

my wishes

my hope

my resolution

happy chinese new year, whoever who even sees this :)

Life (emo post)

Ohmy.

I just realised that I haven't posted for months and months and months. This seems dead; but is it?

Beatles is simply wonderful. Can't say it's genius, but definitely close to heart.

This should be played in my funeral or something, if it is to come. Good way to sum up life. Not that I'm morbid or anything, but it's really about the close bonds, the relationships that we'll treasure at the end.

In My Life

The Beatles

Rubber Soul

There are places I'll remember
All my life though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I've loved them all

But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new
Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more

Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more
In my life I love you more

Long time no post

It's been a long time since I've posted on this blog... Lots happened; a wave of events, of decisions made right and wrong, of fun and excitement, to that of the doldrums and despair. June holidays have been both wasting time doing nothing in particular and studying and going for astro competition (project round hahaha). July so far has been a period of reflection, turning to religion, and making one of the most understanding friends I've ever known. Talking more, learning more, sleeping less, groaning less. I guess blogs are now less popular now; tweeter, facebook (endorsed by fong) have taken the centrestage. But I ultimately would like to keep posting on blogs... true, it might be "exhibitionist", but at least it records snippets and snippets of my memory... something which may or may not stand the test of time.

stargazing at night

Adding on to the list,

1. Scorpius (Antares' so yellow)
2. Ophiuchus
3. Lyra
4. Aquila
5. Hercules
6. Corona Borealis
7. Virgo (again)
8. Centaurus (again)

Thanks Daniel Lim for bringing his binoculars down... it's been a real eye-opener... We've actually seen effectively the whole Hercules with the binocs. Power man.

Thanks Aaron and Wenjie too for ACJC astrochallenge... Don't blame yourself for the 2nd place finish... if anything, it's my lack of knowledge of pic id (smiley face) that led to the result. And I'm not even sore about it.

Thanks anyway for the hard work. 1 Friday night and Saturday on planning, 1 weekend for the model building (thanks shaun ee for coming to support us too), 1 Saturday of mugging and 1st round games, another Friday night and Saturday in preparation of presentation... It's been long and hard, and you guys deserve it.

We had fun anyway... Little Fighter 2, Excalibur, shopping, eating, google chat frenzy with Wenjie posing as Aaron and Aaron as Wenjie (no guessing who the victim was, and what transpired), stomachaches, Hawker Centres, gossip, talk of JC life, other talk, Westlife, Leona Lewis, Celine Dion (yongsheng!), falsetto singing of the Prayer and other songs leading up to a sore throat the next day, sofas which could be converted to beds (but someone slept on the sofa without opening it), waking up late and procrastinating, playing with Furball (the dog), taking photos and acting lame, talking about life and ambition.

It's been a meaningful experience... I'm so glad that I've wasted so many weekends for this :)

Champion

And we won. Pure and simple. No one can take that away. We came, we played, we conquered. We went back to the grounds that night, as the Old Boys treated us at the nearby place. And we marvel at what we've done. The hard work, the loss earlier in the season. But "we fought back", as Leonard'd rightly put, and that's it. That’s the beauty of it all: the sheer satisfaction of this single fact that we've beaten everyone and the odds, to emerge winners of the day.

But is it that important? It’ll maintain for months, but it'll fade into oblivion. It’s just one competition out of so so many competitions, out of so many human endeavors. Whether your side or the other side wins doesn’t matter. It’ll just be an insignificant passing remark in your entire scheme of things.

But who doesn’t like winning? I would rather win than lose. That’s why I’m guiltily happily feeling the fleeting moment of everything’s gone right.

Crossroads

Disappointed.

Spent time; put in the necessary effort (hopefully); sacrificed other prospects in other CCA; sacrificed rugby; and things didn’t work right.

Here I am, again. Yet again aware that I’ve blew my chances.
Oh well.

Thanks Nigel for advising me at the start. Really appreciate it.

Thanks Zhao Yang for the advice. I’ll heed it… if I have the time.

Thanks Kevin Kwek for your consolation. (:

I wonder why people are “avoiding” me, as if not getting it is such a painful thing that mentioning it makes things worse. Talk about it if you are a friend; there’s really nothing wrong about discussing. It has been cast in stone already; might as well tell me how I can do better the next time round.

I am learning. I am moving on.

I’ll end off with this video, which represents the best frame of mind I can have, that of acceptance and doing my best.